Letting go

A lot of mental health experts talk about self-acceptance or self-compassion as being essential for health. But what does it even mean and how do you have it? I discovered a form of it yesterday.

I went on a wonderful journey. It was exhausting and I needed cake immediately afterwards. My journey was not to a place, but into the past, to visit the work of a much younger self. I unpacked an art folder - kept since I was 18.

I have looked through this folder a handful of times over the years. But each time, I had felt a tension or sadness. I was sad - not about the art itself, but about the younger self it represented… what I left behind, what I didn’t know, what I should have done. I was looking back through a lens of judgement.

This time, for the first time ever, I freely journeyed through my drawings, truly seeing and feeling what I valued as a young artist. I saw the emotion, hope, excitement, fear, longing, and just like today - awe of creatures large and small.

One change gave me this freedom… letting go of the idea that there’s ever been a ‘right’ way to be myself or to live my life. To feel like you got something ‘wrong’ you have to have to tell a story that defines ‘right’. But stories are just that. Stories. They can be prescriptive, limiting or misinformed. The good news is, stories can be re-written.